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First of many….

My name is Kirsty and in July 2012 I moved in with my nan to help her after she ended up in hospital due to a fall where she broke her wrist and cracked her head open. Only a few months before this she ended up in hospital again due to a fall, but where she fractured her hip. I will admit that I did not move in with her solely due to my selfless nature, but also because it would help me save for travelling.

I have to say I did not realise how hard it would be. Nan refuses to go to the doctor for a memory test so nothing has been officially diagnosed but many of her behaviours signify dementia. We have known for a while that nan has struggled with her memory but living with it has really bought it home for me.

I have realised that I am not the only one going through a situation similar to this, but I wanted to start logging it so that other people can understand what a family go through when a loved one suffers from memory problems. But also to help people going through it to realise that they are not alone. I also really want to raise awareness, as still people find dementia and alzheimers a big joke, you do have to laugh or you would cry but it has repurcussions for the family  and friends of the sufferer.

My first big rant is of course money related. It makes me furious that my nan who worked hard all her life will one day have to sell her house to pay for her care. Whereas the people who live on benefits will have their care paid for them. Why should my nan have to give up her assets to pay for something that hundreds of thousands of lazy so and so’s will get from mine, and my nan’s tax? Also we have recently had a letter from the council informing us that my nan will lose some of her pension credit and her council tax bills will increase, as well as being taken off the social services register (and so losing her meals on wheels and carers) because I have moved in. So despite the fact that I have moved in to help care for her I will actually be hindering her by being here? The alternatives? Let her live on her own, and be a danger to herself until the council pick up on how unwell she is and give her 24h care, and let me be homeless. All of which would cost more per annum than the pension credit, and social services she receieves!

Today really highlighted for me how dangerous my nan is when left on her own. She had forgotten about a pan where she was boiling a dishcloth (apparently this is something old fashioned people do?) and I came downstairs to an acrid smell of burning and a brown smoking dishcloth which was moments from catching alight. My nan hadn’t even noticed the smell, and is not quick on her feet so if I had not been home to catch it, the consequences would have been dire.

My second rant is more for me personally to get things off my chest. These are not things which puts my nan in danger, but things that when you live with can become very infuriating and hard to know how to deal with. Luckily I have recently been put in contact with an admiral nurse who is a star and is helping me understand dementia more as well as giving me tips for coping with situations better. Such as when my nan follows me round the house and hovers, just staring at whatever I’m doing. I like my space so this is probably the hardest part for me to cope with, but I’ve found that explaining where I’m going, what I’m doing and keeping doors open to enable my nan to see me has helped to reduce the stalking. Obviously dementia affects memory, so another problem is conversation, we have been known to have to same three to four sentences on a loop for at least half an hour (weather is a particular favourite), I still find that I feel impolite when I change the subject but there is only so many times you can repeat yourself on a topic as mundane as the weather!

This is it for now, I’m sure I’ll be updating quite frequently. Please comment with your own experiences, and maybe anything you have found has helped 🙂

Thankyou for reading

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17 thoughts on “First of many….

  1. Hello, I do believe your blog could possibly be having
    browser compatibility issues. Whenever I look at your blog in
    Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in IE, it’s got some overlapping issues. I just wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Besides that, great website!

    • That is odd. Thankyou for taking the time to read and comment and letting me know of these issues. However I am unsure how to rectify it, I write it from Google Chrome so I shall place the blame on IE

  2. Hey excellent website! Does running a blog similar to this require a great deal of work?

    I’ve very little understanding of computer programming however I had been hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyway, should you have any suggestions or tips for new blog owners please share. I understand this is off subject however I just wanted to ask. Cheers!

    • I do not find it overly a lot of work. I’m a big chatter and I’ve always enjoyed writing, it’s especially nice to write about something so close to my heart. My only tip would be to write from the heart, and keep it simple.
      Thanks for reading 🙂

  3. Hello there, I do think your site could possibly be having browser compatibility issues.

    Whenever I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however, if opening in Internet Explorer,
    it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to give you a quick heads up! Besides that, excellent website!

    • Thankyou, I have been informed about this. I write it from Google Chrome and have no issues from here. But I have no idea how to stop the overlapping in Explorer if you could give me some tips?

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