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Happy Tears, Sad Tears

What a day.

Woke up this morning, feeling almost refreshed. Scratched my legs bloody during the night but must have fallen asleep which was nice.

Got downstairs and nan was fretting. She was sitting shaking her head saying “stupid” over and over and over. Made her a cup of tea and asked what was stupid. “Why can I never find anything?” Nothing I said made the tiniest bit of difference. Told her it happens to us all, asked her what she was looking for and she couldn’t remember (which does of course make looking for it all that more tricky). But she spent the whole morning feeling sad, picked at her lunch and wouldn’t talk to me.

Tried to distract her with various activities but she didn’t want to get involved in anything. She was happy to watch me get on with everything but if I offered her anything to do she would shake her head sadly. This made me devastated. I hate the days I can’t help. What can I do????? She wouldn’t even watch TV.

In hindsight I’ve realised she was feeling like a failure, and wouldn’t attempt anything new because she thought she would fail at that too :(. Had a few sad tears in my room.

Funnily enough she recovered in time for Deal or No Deal. And after she watched that she remembered she had been looking for the iron, as she wanted to iron the duvet cover. Apparently it looked creased and unattractive. For a lady who can’t see carrots mixed in a casserole I’m amazed she could tell the cover hadn’t been ironed. I told her not to worry as it would just get creased anyway. She told me she would do it tomorrow, on the bed. HELL BLOODY NO!!

So I went searching round the house, found the iron in the biscuit cupboard. Made an excuse as to why nan wouldn’t have seen it and took the cover off the bed. Nan asked what I was doing as I was getting the ironing board out. Why couldn’t I just do it while it was on the bed. Because the duvet is not made for ironing and will catch fire. Over dramatised it slightly to emphasise that ironing things on the bed is not safe. Left a note for nan to say I had borrowed the iron to do my work clothes and have now hidden the iron.

As if I didn’t have enough to worry about when I go out!

After nan had cheered up I suggested we make some cards for mum to say thankyou for our craft bits. Nan thought this was a lovely idea, so I got all the stuff out and she told me she had no idea what to do with it all. I asked if she ever did things like this at school. No, she told me, the war was on. I said well all you do is pick bits you like and make a picture or a pattern and stick it on with the glue.

After showing nan how to work the glue we set to it, making our own cards. I watched nan, and she thought very carefully about each shape, and colour making sure there was a pattern (not like mine, I am not very creative). I nearly cried happy tears right there at the table. She was constantly telling me how much she was enjoying doing it and held it up proudly at the end for my approval. I loved it so much I had to give her a massive hug, and squeeze my tears out without her seeing. I asked her if she would like to write a note on it. She asked me who it was for, and once I said for my mum to say thankyou, she scribbled down a lovely note. She even remembered that my mum is her daughter. Names and relationships are often hard for her to understand, so this made me even more chuffed. We have put the cards in an envelope for me to send tomorrow. (Mum if you’re reading look away now). Picture of our cards…




Nanny’s note says “Hope you like my first try at this, Mum xxx”


2 thoughts on “Happy Tears, Sad Tears

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