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Life’s Nitty Gritty

Wow, two posts in one night!

I just wanted to keep the amusements separate from the rest of life. My special “happy” box if you will. So back to reality. Of course things aren’t always sunshine, unicorns and rainbows. But to make a rainbow you gotsta have the rain.

And rain it has. Only not so much in the weather department, which is leading to the first big problem. Nan and I hate the heat. Mind you nan also hates the cold, wind and rain so I don’t think she’ll ever be happy. But give me a cold blustery autumn evening over this heatwave any day (sorry to those of you who enjoy it, if it leaves us blame me). I get headaches, I feel tired and I would love to sit alone in silence and wish I was in an ice bath somewhere. But nan’s silences never come when you want them. Of course not! Dementia isn’t a considerate guest, it’s a bloody daylight robber, taking everything I love and giving me awkwardness and mood swings in return. So cue loads of friction between me and nan, and an awful lot of time making up via ice lollies.

My other bug bear this week has been the misplacing of objects. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m hot and bothered so I’m struggling more (and nan too) or if this is a decline in her health. But dear God I have been counting to ten an awful lot, even in French and Spanish to change it up a bit. (if any of you can leave me a phonetic count to ten in the comments in any other language that would be great!) I know it’s not nan’s fault, I know it’s the dementia, but I can’t help wanting to scream when she starts looking for something in all the wrong places. Or when I go to a drawer and find things that should be elsewhere. Or when dementia nan cannot find something that is staring her in the face, or that she had a minute ago. And then I feel guilty when I find it within 10 seconds so I make a big charade of hunting for it (seriously deserve an oscar for some of these performances).

Other than that though life is pretty swell. Nan is coping pretty well with me being out at work, and I have to say I feel much better for getting out. She does get a bit clingy when I am in, but as long as we have our quality bonding times each day she has something to talk about, and so hopefully remember until she gets to bed.

And then we start all over again.

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