So after a bit of a dip nan and I are much more positive today. I came home yesterday and she had been using the stove, something I would prefer was not done when I’m not here due to the near misses in the past. Kept my emotions under control and just left her eating her dinner. I’m not sure how but I could tell it was dementia nan sitting in the chair not nan. So I went and stewed upstairs until I was certain nan was back.
Then we had probably one of the frankest, most honest and open conversations we’ve had. We listened to each other and explained our points of view. I explained to nan about dementia nan, and how she is making things harder for both of us. She told me that it explains a lot, that she has memory blackouts where she can’t remember what she’s done, but she knows it’s things she’s not supposed to do. She doesn’t remember the things she does as dementia nan, but remembers everything quite clearly as nan. If you asked nan what the three golden rules are she would tell you, and explain what they are needed for. If you asked dementia nan she would most likely be sarcastic, or avoid answering.
Weird as it sounds I enjoyed our conversation, even though I had no doubts it would be forgotten by the time she fell asleep. This morning though we both woke up refreshed and happy. And nan has asked for me to make her a list of the things she is to do, like a daily itinerary. She told me today she needs more help with the remembering side of things. But I’m not sure this list will help. I’ll make it, because she’s asked for it. But I think it will be too much reading material and her attention span isn’t up for that.
So any suggestions?