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Seeing Red

I thought I’d become more laid back. Nope. Not at all, probably worse now for flying off the handle but I’ve learned who I can and can’t unleash my fury at.
I guess I should start from the beginning. Bear with me it’s been a long old day with a lot to say.
Nan took out a loan to assist her with moving costs (with the red bank), she was fully aware of what she was doing and we spent many weeks planting the seed as it were to ensure she knew what she was signing up to. The bank (red) were fully aware of the fact nan has a power of attorney and it was not a problem.
Nan receives a letter about her loan and calls to tell them she has not taken out a loan. Of course not, now its all done and dusted she’s forgotten it exists.
Nan receives a phone call and she categorically tells them she did not take out a loan. By the time I have returned it is too late. The loan has disappeared from nan’s bank.
Cue panic. This has left nan overdrawn with no way to pay any bills, heating or food, let alone the moving costs still to be paid out; modifications on new house etc!
One sleepless night later I made nan get up with me at half seven so we could sort the mess out when the bank lines opened at 8.
This led to the most painful three hours of my life. I spoke to 5 different customer advisers, all of whom needed confirmation and security checks from nan to ensure I was not some horrible abusive granddaughter. This made nan more confused and upset than ever as they fired question after question at her. The first two told me the money was still nan’s account. After a brief fight the second lady investigated a little deeper and discovered I was right, it has disappeared but she can’t tell me anything else. Well I’m not one to let things lie so I called again, and experienced possibly the rudest man ever. He would not accept my statement that the previous lady had confirmed the money was not in the account and just ignored everything I said. I swore at him and cried until he agreed to investigate, came back to realise I was telling the truth. Didn’t even apologise. He agreed to put me through to the loan department so I could find out where this money had gone. Then I got cut off…
I rung back, finally spoke to a lady who told me nan’s money had been withdrawn but couldn’t tell me why.
So I hung up and gave it one last shot. And here’s the crux. As nan has a Power of Attorney (POA) this led to the bank flagging an issue. Which led to the phone call and letter. And because nan has a POA she shouldn’t have a loan. ERM What?! She has someone in charge of paying back the loan and this somehow makes her more of a risk? I let it fly. We need that money back today, I begged and begged and was told over and over nothing could be done. So I went drastic and told her if we didn’t have that money nan and I would be homeless. Well it didn’t get the money back but it led to a formal complaint being issued against the withdrawal as everything was above board and out in the open when we applied. I gave up for a while after that. It was too much.
I felt so cross at nan even though it wasn’t her fault that I had to take some time away from her. And of course blaming her made me feel guilty. We can’t win!
Then I ventured back to the phone to order nan some more Cefalexin (something I dread every month! -see prev posts!). If you are open from 9-3 what is an acceptable lunch break? On the phone message it says we are closed for a short lunch break. It was over an hour until I got through.
Then nan and I decided to go to the dump. It was closed. Then my petrol light came on, so we went to get some petrol and I’d left my debit card at home. Trying to coast home and got stuck behind a prat who kept braking for NO REASON!!!! I was swearing like a soldier and nan was laughing her head off.
And now here I am in my “lounge pants” trying to wind down. We did have some good news today and that was that we have finally exchanged. So we’ll be moving in two weeks. But with the stress of today that news has hardly had chance to sink in.
At least nan enjoyed her day out, as she told me 17 times over dinner. Is it really so easy to keep her entertained? Just to take her to the dump? Why did I buy so many indoor activities?!
God love her.

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2 thoughts on “Seeing Red

  1. What a terrible day Kirsty! Banks can be most unhelpful (to put it mildly) about mental capacity. I have LPA for Dad & his bank wanted me to say whether or not he had capacity. That’s despite the fact that the Mental Capacity Act is clear that capacity is decision-specific, and that it also fluctuates. He has capacity for some financial decisions some of the time, but the bank’s computer said no. I had to say Dad had capacity, or he would have been completely shut out of his own account. It boils down to banks not being prepared to take the risks (perfectly happy to let Carers take them though!), & this can lead to restrictive practice.

    Can recommend you contact AgeUK & Alzheimer’s Association for advice. They’ve helped me through a couple of mazes.

    Your blog is so readable Kirsty, and that’s because it’s real, and you are genuinely trying to do the best for your Nan.

    Hope better and more solvent days are just around the corner,
    love Rose xx

    • Ha! Yes unhelpful is the polite-est way to put it! I can understand the “risk” from a business point of view but it seems strange that the POA seems to be a negative thing!
      Thankyou for your kind words and advice đŸ™‚ xx

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