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Bright Lights, Dark Nights

Hello all, apologies once again for another long break. I fell ill with a cold/man flu/the black death and haven’t felt much up to anything. Which has been convenient as nan also fell poorly this week. Yet another infection which has left her more confused, tired, cold and generally miserable. Suffice to say the atmosphere hasn’t been great in the house. So I asked mum to take nan out for a drive to give us both a break from each other.

I’m still not sleeping right, nothing worrying me or stressing me out. But the moon, it’s just so damn bright! I’m almost missing the sleepy town, even the bright lights of London. The eerie glow of a streetlight is much easier to sleep to than the shiny shinyness of the moon. And of course I have to sit up and look at it, and all the stars. There’s so many here, and then I play games like “plane/star/superman” “falling star/ufo” which have kept me wide awake until at least 3am. Meanwhile nan is absolutely soundo from ten til nine every night, leading to me feeling resentful that she’s sleeping so well! Of course though I’m glad she is, she clearly needs it.

Anyway back to today, nan went off with mum and I decided to make the most of my morning alone. I did want to dance around naked, but I’m unsure the bloke fitting the kitchen would have been too impressed. So I knitted. And watched a dvd, and watched dr who again. And listened to McFly. And sat and twiddled my thumbs. Is this how people feel when their kids go off to school? Is that why they always end up with another baby on the way? What on earth am I supposed to do? Couldn’t relax as felt so restless! But did enjoy not having to answer incessant questions.

Mum then came to pick me up and we went out for lunch. It was gorgeous and we were all getting along splendidly, until halfway through pudding when nan just stopped eating. Mum asked if she was ok and nan suddenly went very green. And pulled *that* sick face. That was my cue to push my chair away from the table and run. And mum got up very suddenly, both of us leaving nan to heave in her chair. Mum and I had a brief argument (I say brief it felt like it went on for hours, but can’t have been more than a minute) of who would take nan outside and who would pay the bill, as when it comes to vomit we are both absolute wusses. I lost and patted nan on the back as i hurried her outside, my usually caring nature completely collapsing and leaving me feeling paranoid that nan was going to vomit on me. Found a chair outside and sat nan down, and as politely as I could took a few steps away. Did the only thing I can do when I feel awkward and made jokes, nan laughed but looked so fragile.

When we got home nan got straight into bed and fell asleep, so I did some research into the meds the doctor prescribed for her infection. Was there anything she shouldn’t have eaten? Side effects? Was I a bad person for not reading the leaflet before giving them to nan? I felt cross (and told mum so) that mum pushed vomit duty onto me, and then felt cross at myself for being horrible. Nan was poorly and I was thinking about myself. I discovered the meds should not be given to someone with kidney problems, which is the reason they were prescribed. So the doctor will be called in the morning to find out what is going on. In the meantime I think we’ll avoid the meds.

Nan woke up after a 4 and a half hour sleep saying she felt a bit better but still nauseous, so we chilled on the sofa and had a giggle. Here is a thing I found on the internet, with nan’s answers to the questions underneath.


2-imagine so
3-thought they’d fall off, cant imagine how they’d do it
4-hahaha pass
5-hahahahahhahahahha the dog, he smell it and if they don’t like it they walk away from it
6-oh crumbs ahahahahaha! oh very good! yes yes/
7-thats a point isn’t it, never thought of it, yes why don’t they make it square. how funny
8-mmmm thats a hard one, erm, i don’t know. cant imagine.


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