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Finding Positives

“If you want light to come into your life, you need to stand where it is shining.” – Guy Finley

A while ago we had our usual #diversealz chat on Twitter, this topic was looking at the positives. This chat could not have come at a better time. I was feeling particularly grumpy and sad, so had to dig really deep to think of things to contribute. But as usual once I started, I couldn’t stop. And so I hardly saw what everyone else had written! Reading it back so I could do a write up certainly made me realise we have a lot to be thankful for. I’ve done this one in the form of a q and a, as it is late coming out and I was desperate to get it finished. If any of you have any additions or comments, please use the box below, or tweet me @wandererkirsty , or find my page on Facebook livingwithdementiablog 🙂

What has diagnosis or interaction with dementia taught you?
I’m more out of the box than ever now
Selflessness is something learned
you can see a strong community and also learn about what is possible
it’s taught me to think outside the box to find solutions
its taught me to think outside the box
its taught me that sometimes things are just shit. And that’s o.k
it’s taught me to think less selfishly
it’s taught me that we’re never alone
it’s taught me that there are some truly amazing people out there who are willing to help anyone and everyone
My take is if you don’t try to find some positives from somewhere, what have you got?
Many negatives, but if positive focus employed, results can be much better
and how little things can help with encouraging positive moments.
A year ago, no tweeting, blogging etc, now I share what I’ve learned, to help others
knowing how there are positives sometimes has spurred me on to let others know to look for them too.

Are there any positives for you, or for your caree with dementia?
mum lives in a happy little bubble most of the time so guess that’s a plus side
depends how long unaware, can make it seem worse when they have awareness moments
Big positive has to be the g8 summit on #dementia, global attention and input from world leaders
tough one…guess it unites some families as Carers but not all..
sharing a passion with the other #purpleangels and knowing we can teach others
positives are love and affection shown to those who care, and keep them safe
feeling part of a community
learning to live in the now to join NANs reality
More positives, the joy and laughter that can be shared, smiles and memories
learning to voice my emotions. Letting nan know i feel sad, and having her snap back to hold me
A1 learned from Uncle with Alz, what I could do to help Mum with VaD, so that must be a positive
given me a new purpose in life must be a plus too?
oh. Duh. Biggest positive getting closer to nanme too
so that’s a huge plus as stimulates both the Carer and cared for
good and bad bits of anything in life but coping with dementia teaches us to be stronger and tougher
Mum hasn’t got a clue what’s wrong anymore, life is just normal so far as she is concerned
gave nan a positive that she was only in hospital a few weeks with broken hip as dementia forgot she done it so recovered quick
Positives for Mum, she’s happy, safe, contented, though she doesn’t know what’s wrong, she knows she’s looked after, many aren’t

Do you always need to be positive?
no. It is impossible and exhausting to stay positive all the time
there has to be a part of you that knows you can carry on fighting, but I think we all need to..
…be able to say life is shit sometimes. And it’s ok that I can’t see past that for now..
but we know from experience that after the pit there’s a brief patch of light. That’s what…
I’m plodding towards ATM  that moment where nan laughs or does something that makes life ok

How has it compelled you or others to make a difference?
inspired me to be who I know I am..strong determined and caring enough to fight for those who can’t
Simple, use my creative and military experience to help in any way I can – two unusual combinations 🙂
Just compelled to help in whatever way I can, sharing what I’ve learned combined with past experiences
made me want to save other Carers from the fears of not knowing who to turn to for help
I would never have chosen this path however I relish it most days as I know I am making a difference

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