So it’s been a while. Partly because I’ve gone off and got a job and a social life and just can’t seem to find the time to write. And to be honest there’s not all that much to write about. Nan’s dementia is as ever present and steadily taking control of her mind.
Its got to the point where nan can no longer use the laptop, but she does still enjoy me reading out the comments and questions we receive. Nan is now confused most of the time, it can take the carers several attempts just to get nan to brush her teeth, it’s like as soon as she turns her back she forgets what she’s been told. (if any of you watch doctor who, it’s much like ‘the silence’)
But it is no longer taking its toll on us and our relationship. Nan seems to be coping much better with living with it, and I am getting enough interaction outside that I can come home and not feel stressed or worried about what nan is doing, or getting wound up by the smaller things. I may have taken Things to the extreme but giving up caring for nan was the best thing for both of us. In hindsight it was my pride that was getting in the way of realising I should have done it sooner. Giving up caring felt like just full stop giving up, like I’d given up on nan. But that wasn’t the case, I was doing what was best for both of us as we were both suffering and becoming ill. And I was becoming overwhelmed with the attention nan and I were receiving, I’ve turned down so many interviews, and what could have been great platforms to raise awareness because I wasn’t ready, and that I regret.
Yes it was hard initially, especially the aggravation of finding carers that suited both me and nan, that I felt I could trust. Hiccups are to be expected and of course it has not been plain sailing, but the ladies we have now are so great with nan, and can work around the dementia. To the point where I can hear them make nan laugh on nearly every visit.
And the time that I now spend with my nan is much better, quality time, with my nanna. we still have our big chats setting the world to rights, she gives me advice on life and love. And is regularly telling me that other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter. So thanks to her, and the new friends I’ve made I’m learning to be more independent and to love myself and my life. Which brings me to my news.
Many of you know my love for Disney. Well I’ve been given a chance to follow that dream, and been offered a job at Disneyland Paris. It’s something I’ve wanted since my first trip there almost 20 years ago, and it’s a job I’ve been applying for, for nearly ten years. But this year is the first time I’ve succeeded and the first time I’ve felt ready. My life with nan and dementia nan, and my recent new experiences with working at butlins have prepared me to move on to something I want to do.
This may well be the last post about me and nan, I’m shocked so many people still come back here and read old posts, and that the viewership is so high after being away so long. Nan and I could not be more grateful for all the support we have received, and I truly hope this blog carries on helping and educating any that need it. I will still be doing what I can raising awareness, and funds for dementia charities, because despite the boom last year, many remain ignorant to the effects.
Please feel free to keep in touch, ask questions etc by contacting me on Twitter @wandererkirsty