Inside My Head

Being myself is making me sad
I want to be somebody else
Being myself makes me feel mad
I’m scared for my mental health

Sometimes I rant and sometimes I rave
Sometimes exceedingly happy
I wish that my mind would behave
And I could stop being unhappy

The tiniest things make me feel cross
Like I could just shout, kick and punch
I want to tell my brain I’m the boss
Instead of just feeling the crunch

When I feel down and gloomy and blue
It’s like nothing will get better
It takes all I have to make me pull through
I also a natural fretter

When I get happy it goes to extremes
My energy just won’t stop
I come up with plans and hopes and dreams
Not worrying about the drop

Now and again I just feel numb
I can’t cry, laugh or scream
I’m worried about what will become
If people start to see

Being myself is making me sad
I want to be somebody else
Being myself makes me feel mad
I’m scared for my mental health

Advertisements

12 Wishes for Dementia

Recently a Twitter friend asked us what our twelve wishes for dementia would be. I’ve thought long and hard about it and come up with mine. Please read to the tune of twelve days of christmas.

With regards to dementia, my first wish would be, prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my second wish would be, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my third wish would be a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my fourth wish would be broadcast discussions. a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my fifth wish would be awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my sixth wish would be better treatment in shops, awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my seventh wish would be parliamentry turn out, better treatment in shops, awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my eight wish would be a dementia minister, parliamentry turn out, better treatment in shops, awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my ninth wish would be free drop in centres, a dementia minister, parliamentry turn out, better treatment in shops, awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia, my tenth wish would be all hours support line, free drop in centres, a dementia minister, parliamentry turn out, better treatment in shops, awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia my eleventh wish would be promoting peoples choices, all hours support line, free drop in centres, a dementia minister, parliamentry turn out, better treatment in shops, awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

With regards to dementia my twelfth wish would be positive care news, promoting peoples choices, all hours support line, free drop in centres, a dementia minister, parliamentry turn out, better treatment in shops, awareness, broadcast discussion, a cure for all, funding research and prevention to this disease

 

Just to clarify some of those:

positive care news – positive coverage of the great job so many care homes, and care companies and unpaid carers are doing

promoting peoples choices – recognising that someone with dementia can still make choices, and helping them to do this in a safe way

all hours support line – a 24h telephone, text or email service for those of us who struggle and just need a pep talk or a different way of looking at things and wish to remain anonymous

free drop in centres – a dream of mine is to set up and run places where carers and individuals with dementia can come, relax, do activities and forget about the stress of day to day life for a few hours a week.

a dementia minister – someone to represent and discuss the issues surrounding dementia in a way the government can understand

parliamentry turn out – when there is a debate, for some of the MP’s to actually turn up rather than open swimming pools

better treatment in shops – for shops and businesses to understand and be able to react better in situations where dementia is involved (here’s looking at you red bank)

awareness – education from an earlier age about dementia and it’s effects

broadcast discussion – for TV programmes to have an informed discussion about dementia rather than just mentioning it needs talking about and then moving on to the next item (yes This Morning I mean you)

a cure for all – well duh!

funding research – if we are going to find a cure, or prevention we need money and time and dedicated scientists 

prevention to this disease – even if we don’t find a cure immediately, if we could find a way to prevent just a few cases, and prevent one or two families going through this I’d be happy for a while.

Caring Song (Love is on the radio/Caring set my life aglow)

So I listen to A LOT of Mcfly, and handily they have proved quite the inspiration for my new poem (song). Changed a few lyrics and snuck a few extra syllables in. I hope you enjoy it, I tried to put all the things I’m proud of achieving in the song including being able to talk to strangers, patience, thinking of and helping others and giving nan her freedom.

I was alone and
My old life was selfish
But I can be proud now
The dark clouds have lifted
Back in my old life
Before you existed
I didn’t do right
My vision was misted
You’re still here as my four leaf clover
I won’t let dementia take you over
Things are looking up, looking up
There’s magic everywhere you go
Strangers stop to say hello (hello, hello, hello)
So shout it out, shout it out
As loud as your voice can go
Coz caring set my life aglow
Yes there are downsides
To caring I agree
I get stressed, I stay in, I can’t sleep
But I can talk freely to strangers
They’re friends now
Nan has her freedom
To keep this, I do vow
You’re still here as my four leaf clover
I won’t let dementia take you over
Things are looking up, looking up
There’s magic everywhere you go
Strangers stop to say hello (hello, hello, hello)
So shout it out, shout it out
As loud as your voice can go
Coz caring set my life aglow
Caring set my life aglow (x8)/Shout it out, shout it out (x6)
Funny one thing led to another
Caring for you filled my days with colour
And thanks to you I can walk much taller
Since loves no bother
Things are looking up, looking up
There’s magic everywhere you go
Strangers stop to say hello (hello, hello, hello)
So shout it out, shout it out
As loud as your voice can go
Always fight against the flow
Let love be everything you know
Coz caring set my life aglow…

Much love to you all, as I said on Twitter “Play safe, live well and fight for what you love”

Dynamic Dementia

Here’s my attempt at the poem, be kind please. It’s the first poem I’ve written for maybe 8 years?

You thought you could destroy my life
You thought you could take my nan
You thought you could make troubles rife
You only brought us closer

You thought you could make her forget
You thought you could tear us apart
You thought you could cause us upset
You only brought us closer

You thought you could make her unkind
You thought you could change her nature
You thought you could make her confined
You only brought us closer

I never thought I could do it
I never thought I could care
I never thought I could bear it
You only brought us closer

I give my nan a life more free
I give my nan my every thought
I give my nan her dignity
You only brought us closer

I don’t see it as my duty
I do not think she’s a burden
She has filled my life with beauty
You only brought us closer

Being with nan is a delight
My devotion for her is stronger
I would dote on her day and night
You only brought us closer

So thank-you dementia for changing my life
But only for the better
Every day is truly diverse
You only brought us closer

Winterfell rock

This post has nothing to do with me and nan, it’s just a boredom buster that I enjoyed writing.

Sing along to the tune of Crocodile Rock by Elton John.

SPOILERS AFTER THE FIRST WINTER IS COMING CHORUS SO DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW!

“Winterfell Rock”

I remember when Robb was young
Bran and Sansa had so much fun
Hodor, Rickon and Arya.
Had a bastard son and a ward of Greyjoy
But the biggest kick I ever got
was doing a thing called the Winterfell Rock
While the other kids were at Casterly Rock
we were hopping and bopping to the Winterfell RockWell Wintefell Rocking is something shocking
when your head just can’t keep on
I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will
Oh Lawdy mama those winter nights
when Ned Stark ruled the north just right
and the Winterfell Rocking was out of sight

Aaaaaaaand Winter is coming, winter is coming, winter is coming,

But the years went by and we all just died
Sansa went and left us for some halfman guy
Arya killing, Bran and Rickon missing

dreaming of my Catelyn and my Godswood trees
But they’ll never kill the thrills we’ve got
burning up to the Winterfell Rock
Learning fast as the weeks went past
we really thought the Winterfell Rock would last
Well Wintefell Rocking is something shocking
when your head just can’t keep on
I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will
Oh Lawdy mama those winter nights
when Ned Stark ruled the north just right
and the Winterfell Rocking was out of sight
Aaaaaaaand Winter is coming, winter is coming, winter is coming
I remember when Robb was young
Bran and Sansa had so much fun
Hodor, Rickon and Arya.
Had a bastard son and a ward of Greyjoy
But the biggest kick I ever got
was doing a thing called the Winterfell Rock
While the other kids were at Casterly Rock
we were hopping and bopping to the Winterfell RockWell Wintefell Rocking is something shocking
when your head just can’t keep on
I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will
Oh Lawdy mama those winter nights
when Ned Stark ruled the north just right
and the Winterfell Rocking was out of sight

Aaaaaaaand Winter is coming, winter is coming, winter is coming (repeat to fade)